Someone asked me out today.....a friend from sec.......yes a gal....i used to like her a lot and we kissed once....but somehow the feeling changed the more i got to know her.
She gives me a weird feeling....as through she has things to hide and somehow i feel like a carrot.....yes carrot.....tried to talk to her abt that but got negative reply......makes me feel that some females cant be trusted much or maybe it's me....attracted to weird people....... but that was the past......still feels so empty no matter where or who i go out with.....
Even when i gave Yati a hug to cheer her up i felt so empty but i am glad to know that the hug helped her a lot.....dont worry gal i am always here for you when you are in need...since pri 4 till now le...long long time friend....only female good friend...lol..... think my social circle of gals have become super small.....dont know myself anymore.....no more mood to know gals no mood to go out and chiong or have fun..... maybe it's due to me being empty.......
managed to find 2 activities to spend time on.....mahjong and prawning.....
long time never play mahjong only touch it during this CNY......
Prawning or better known at fishing for prawns.......can distract my mind better and it is quite a good environment to unwind.....while typing these she pops into my mind again.....sad sia....
There was one thing i had been planning to bring her there to do...the new ferris wheel .....now her new bf can bring her there liao..... cant believe i wanted to propose to her on her birthday......silly me.......she make me fall into the fairytale and she destroyed it and left me struck in it........guess i am still weak in the love side of life.......but one thing i learnt is to never use hate to overcome it..... cos i cant control my rage and hate when it overwhelms me.....i havent lose my rage and anger for a long time.....anger is almost 10yrs.... rage is almost 5yrs.....
Tame Charles........lol......changed a lot during my sec days till now....life and environment and stress has made me mature too much beyond my age...... my customers and suppliers think that i aam 30 and above......i got so old meh........old liao.....heart also weak le....cannot take heart breaks.....talking abt heartbreaks....i know someone who is more daring and can take it more than me....Yati....
She chose to walk a path where i dare not.She knew her relationship wont work out but she still chose to walk it.....that i dont dare......brave and strong......i could see her tears as we talked abt it at Mac......seeing her eyes i could find her pain and understand what she is going throught...That was why i never started a relationship with her since last time....i rather not try it cos i treasure her too much as a friend.I know i can count on her if i need advice and a hug........hug only nothing else.......a hug can cure a heartache better than a thousand words.i miss hugging her.....what am i thinking again.....stupid.........
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment