Been thinking so long whether to blog this and finally i have decided to do it.Not to be happy or sad just needed to blog it out....Been chatting with crystal on msn yesterday after such a long wait....finally chatted with her again and found out they broke up...i didnt know to be happy or sad.....she told me she broke up with him cos she found that she really loves me and regrets it.So i asked her did she do it to spite me....yes was her answer...Yes april i acted blur last night when you told me abt it......and i did read his blog and her 3 blogs.....3 yes including friendster's blog....i found his blog unfair, one side and immature....everyone knows that when a relationship failed both party sure have faults.how can he push it all to her....if you cant accept her then dont hurt her.....yes i know they slept together...i could have guess cos i know her well....come on this time of age if you tell people you are virgin who will believe..i have learnt to accept that....thinkings are different now....if she dares to confess it then we must learn to accept it.The worst blow was when i read her friendster's blog....yes she betrayed me not once but twice....she slept with mark chow....really double blow for me....but i still choose to forgive her that's why i needed to drink last night....tears really were free last night.....we chatted the whole day online talking abt things...things that hurt me a lot...she asked me if i was only drugs....OMG....drugs....of course not cos if i did my father will be the first to pull me to police station...dont know who spread this rumors abt me but well at least i know she still cares for me..i was touched..and then i ask her if she wanted me to wait for her....she said yes....3 months cos she needs to settle her things first....i respect her decision cos she and me have the same character..i would have chosen the same thing....by doing this we give each other space to breathe.For me to unthaw and open my heart to her and for her to recover from her problems and pain...
I know i am going against everyone's advice but that is how deep i love her.....i can only say SORRY but i have decided to go against everyone's advice.....but i believe she deserves a 2nd chance although i was betrayed twice.....i told her i dont know what to do....i am normally a logical guy but this time i have decided to go with my heart for the first time.....Hope i dont end up disappointed and hurt again cos i have already done what no person can do.....i also hope she will not turn up as my 3rd regret....Either regret as stupid me never heed advice....or.....stupid me let her toyed my feelings again...... Poor crystal now still sick...hearing that my heart aches....ear pain with stomach and cramps.....hao xin tong...i cant do anything to help her.spent the whole day chatting with her till dont want to go out...even when she went to sleep i was also waiting for her to online again.....i lost her once and i dont want to lose her again.then after what seems an eternal she was online again...we chatted till 2 and she tried to sleep.but then she gave me a surprise, one that i have been dreaming abt and waiting for for a long time......she called me, i cant remember when i was so happy before.....time flow by really quickly as we talked i even told her abt my dreams and exs....i told her everything she wanted to know and then it was 4plus....only then did she sleep...poor her now must be very tired.......i will be waiting for her....cant wait to hug her........it's something i have been dreaming abt and looking forward to.....
To everyone if you respect me pls respect my decision and most importantly respect her for being so brave.If anyone fails to do that all i can say is you dont respect me also.Advices i will still listen but nothing else.....This is the path i have decision to walk no matter what will happen in the future....I also hope she will have more friends to guide her cos she lost a lot of them before......accept her for who she is and not what she did before, as my friends i dont think that is hard for you all to do....last of all....Crystal Tan Sue Ni......... I love you
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
hi charles, i understand how u feel.
because i am in the same boat as you, my gf's ex was the fucker M.C.
they were only together for a couple of months before she found out he's a psycho. but sadly, she gave 'hers' to him.
i am so shattered, although my gf has been with me for over a year now, she only revealed this secret of hers only recently, cause she felt bad. what to do? she was foolish then, i have to forgive her. but i somehow cant get the thought out of my head.
Post a Comment