10th Post 15 Feb 2008

Another day has passed.....but the pain is still the same....i thank my da jie and yati for calling and checking up on me,they are worried that i might go depress and sad again...thankfully today wasnt so bad.
It started bad....same shit wake up and think of her......shitty me.....lucky after a while Eric called and asked me want to go delivery.....went to send things to 2 places...one at AMK Techplace 2 and at Tuas......on the way da jie called to check on me...she was worried cos i told her that i was affected by the songs they say and i might cry again.......i did but not cry only tears.....after that was abt 4plus already and i was thinking she only has abt an hour plus till off work..... then we met some suppliers at Tradehub 21 and started to chat....That was the life saver.....i was engross in listening to their views and experiences then at 6plus Yati called to check on me also.......honestly i'm touched by them.....despite them having their own pains they bothered to check on me.....If not for them i might not have started to cheer up at all....I must have did something right in this life to earn these care and concern, at least i know i am still on the right path of treating people.If you bother to help and care, you will receive it when you need it too.After the supplier session we went to one of the showroom to talk to a friend there.....a short chat but fun.....then it was 8plus and time to go home.....she should be driving to meet her bf now....lucky guy.....hope he never upsets her cos i will be very pissed with him and upset for her.
Even now at 2.12am i am still worried and thinking of her.dont know if she is home safely yet or cold still the weather is cold now or is she tired cos she cant drive too long due to fatique that's why i will always drive her around even through i havent been driving around SG the whole day....i rather i am tired than seeing her tired.Most of the time i am so tired that all i can do is sit on my bed and rest but she doesnt take it that way....
Who doesnt feel tired, sometimes we are so tired that we dont even feel like talking......all i need is to have her sit by my side and that makes my day cheerful and wonderful even through my whole day was like shit.It too bad for me that she doesnt understands that.....sucks for me....
Maybe i should have been more vocal....all the time when she does something wrong i will just get angry at myself and keep quiet to cool down.....There was a day i met rayson and his gf at bishan for a movie, she was at work but said will meet us there to catch the movie....so i went to buy a softtoy dog to surprise her....when i went to buy it the auntie asked me if i wanted a carrier...i told her no need i am not ashamed of carrying it around cos it is a gift for my gf....she called and say she was going to be late so we went in first....i placed the dog on her seat while we watched the movie.....i wanted to surprise her so that when she came in she will see it.then she reach and i went out to bring her in.She was surprised, and the look on her face was priceless to me.....it filled my heart with happiness....but then after that was the heart breaker.....she puts on her blog that she thinks that i bought the dog cos i did something wrong.....killer.....
I have to ask...is it only on special days that we buy gifts for each other? Why is it that only on V day we must to give gifts and flowers......isnt everyday V day to us if we are happy together....
I dont ask for much...every moment, every sec, every min with her makes my day through i am dead tired to even smile happily....I had never scolded her or lied to her i could never do it cos it will kill me to do that to her.These days i wonder how is her finance doing...she had to do 2 jobs to help her family...but now due to her bf she is only doing one.....hope that the bf is helping her out with that....silly me thinking so much when it is all over.but this is my character something i could never change even if i wanted too.I know even if i move on and get married if a day comes and she says she needs help i will be there and i know my future wife will understand cos if she doesnt than she wont be my wife.
Understanding and trust and honesty....these are the 3 things that are important in a relationship.....hope she learns it.Think i should stop here.....if not i might not be able to sleep again......pathetic charles talking abt how poor thing he is and how sad he is etc etc etc.....NO this is just a place for me to release my stress and emotionals.....I dont expect people to pity me or scold her or blame anyone and all the shit....If anyone wants to insult or hurt her they will have to go through me and yes i will not step down easily.There is a side of me that even i am afraid of.....I told her before that if she comes back i only need 4 words from her to forget everything.I will keep this promise i made till i get married......Full of shit charles....yes yes i am...but that is me.....everyone can just accept or reject it i dont care. But knowing her well i dont think it will happen.Silly hopes only........Yes Jody i know you are correct.
John Q is a great movie.......sad but touching......received another Red Bomb again.....wedding dinner on 16 March.....shit 15 March must be xiong di and 16 is wedding dinner...... xiong......