19th Post 18 Feb 2008

was suppose to meet tingting for wake just now but i'm too depress and hurt to do it...read all her blogs and found out i was betrayed not once but twice...stupid charles so useless....so foolish..... even had to get drunk to sleep....sleep still can cry....stupid me.....why does it hurt so much....i should be happy.found out from april that they broke up...should i be happy?? nope i feel sad cos i know she is hurted again....i read all the blogs and found that the blog her ex bf wrote was unfair one sided and immature...you took her from me and yet you hurted her and say such things.....grow up la...cant you accept her for who she is..she is not boring or suay.....blame everyone but yourself......you took her away from me and yet this is how you treat her.....can you treat her better.....she doesnt deserve this...she is worth more that that....she gave you a lot and yet you hurt her......too bad i cant do anything for her or to you......i can only drink myself to sleep if not i am sure i will be awake all night crying as i am crying now.i hope she can recover fast, i also hope she will not feel much pain..but that's not possible cos i know her too well....knowing her so well hurts me a lot.....i cant do anything to ease her pain and suffering....why am i so useless.......all i can do is hope and pray for her.......hope she is better and pray that she will be better....i dont mind god teasing me but why must you tease the ones i love also......i rather bear all the sufferings that they need to go through.... why must this happen to her.it's so unfair to her........why am i crying also.....i thought i have moved on....stupid charles wake up la........ i really cant hold my tears in anymore........shit.....drinking these to help me sleep....