130th Post 21 Feb 12

another day has pass since she left.... the pain is still as painful just that i am slowly getting numb... I'm starting to eat again and finally hit the 5hr of sleep mark.

I am glad i have true friends that i can be honest to and can tell them anything. Knowing that they will always be there for me in times of need.

Thinking abt it dear u dont have any...... so far u dont have any true friend whom u dont need to hide the truth from. Then let me be the first, standing by u anytime anywhere to lend u my ears and shoulders if u need. Dont keep everything inside it is bad for ur mental health.

Isnt it tiring........ Maybe that is why u are having problems. U have no one to trust and rely on and who can give u advices and listen to u. Even i also need it sometimes if not i wont have gone crazy a long time ago.

I thank them and if eevery they need my help i will be the first to step forward. These are my true friends, even through what they say may not be what u want to hear but u know they only want what is best for u and are truely there to help.

I hope u find one soon, it will help a lot. A person who u can truely relax, releasing ur pretendious layer and talk heart to heart with.

No need to hide behind a mask and act tough or pretend to otherwise, that is what i have done

My 3 poly buddies who i can rely on and will always be the first to be there for me. Even if i get scolded by them , i cant get angry. I know they mean well and are trying to help me.

I noticed u removed all our pics from ur FB a few mths back but i kept quiet. U changed my status to married but hid urs..... When will u be able to be trueful to urself and others?????

I say everything out in my blog as a form of release. But that is not what u are doing.

FB hide stuffs.....blog hide problems and stuffs....... how can u relax?

U dont even have proper guidance and support from ur family. Ur mother is like a child, ur father doesnt care much. Bro and sis are busy wih their own lifes.

I know u worry abt ur mum a lot and need to support the house.

I have always thought that whenever u go out for a whole day it is to go out with ur mum but now i know i was wrong.

I have never tried to control u wanting u to be indepenance, letting u do whatever u want and never 2nd guessing u at all. I have trust in u but in the end it was betrayed again and again and again.

Hai..... life has never been easy for u i know but why do u want to hurt the one person who truely care abt and love u???

I know that when angela suggested that we go out to party or prawning together u felt awkard......... u say u cant face me even in the future but cant tell me any reason.....

I help u to answer.... u know u hurted me badly, u are guilty u toyed with my feelings and trust again and u know what i say is correct yet u still choice to do otherwise.

I know u better than anyone even more than ur family and maybe even urself.

Loving u was a long, hard and terrible road but if i had the chance i would go through it again and again.