Tired and thoughts

i am really tired..... tired of protecting u,tired of sheltering u from harm.
I just want to move on. My love for u has really been shattered beyond recovery.

My heart is closed and mind is lost. U have made the choice

The only thing i regret now is not being able to stop u from getting hurt.

Since u like to listen to ur bf i made the decision to help u.

The car is urs at end of the month, will get it repaired myself and pass it back to u.

Anyway i can survive without it. I will be able to get 1 myself in 2 mths....lol

Gim thanks for asking me out, it was relaxing and fun.

To think that in my current condition i was able to find someone more hurt than me and to be able to give others advice.....i have grown, stronger, better, wiser.

To think i broke down unexpected on friday........ cry till my eyes were swollen on sat..... must be damn bad. Thanks Jensen i know u consoled me a lot that night.

Having lost her, i have discovered that my parents' love for me is really deep. Cooking my fav food to help me regain my appette.... Thanks to them i have regain my weight.

My mind is fixed on earning more now. Hopefully Jensen proposal goes through and my income will double.

Ya i got pay rise, although not that much but it is enough for now. With the proposal it will jump to near 4k or more...... life is getting sweeter, too bad i have no one to share it with.

The next few days will be tough. Lots of shit to clear..... what to do work is work. i dont know how i will be on tuesday, happy, sad, confused?? i have no idea
But what i do know is that it is the end of my sufferings. Once i sign on the paper, it signifies that i am changed. No more trying to keep her or worry abt her.

Sorry Miss J i should have been more sensitive to ur feelings. i will repect ur decisions.
I have found that i have been missing out on a lot of things in life when i was with her. Time for my enjoyment to come.
Come to think of it, at 30 i am in my prime. Money coming in, single, free ...... i'm going valueable. Happy...lol.... but for her..... depreciation is increasing.

That's life.

I rmb a quote from jensen that made me wake up. Why let others determine how much u are worth when u can set ur own worth. Wise words.......

On tuesday i shall see what the lawyer will say, if the truth is not there and the conditions and terms is not what i expected i will NOT sign the papers. I dont lose out she does. I'm not being evil, i'm just being fair to myself since she havent been fair to me.

Since she like to listen and obey her bf let her bf worry abt it. I couldnt care less now.

She knows how and where to find me if she needs me. That is something that will never change.
I will always be here for her if she needs me.

Miss J u asked me sometimes back if i could move on and i answered NO. Last thur changed me, now i can tell u YES i have moved on. Really too badly hurt that it shut my heart up and changed my mind.

NO more weeping or feeling depressed for her.......... It doesnt change anything at all. She really hurted me too many times while she is the king of my life.

Since i am uncherished by her even through i love her with my love and trampled on by her.......... I have been a fool to think my love is enough. FOOL

Tuesday is a day i am looking forward to. Goodbye my sufferings, tears, fears and worries.
Hello my happiness, joy, fun and love............

I will be happier, richer and single.....hehe......