Thoughts and Feelings

Sometimes i think i know too much for my own good.... it hurts me more if i know more......

I can predict a few things but none are making me happy, they are only making me more sad.

Maybe as Ms J said, i think too much.

I think u are right J, it's not my business anymore. I know u have no right tell me what to do. But thanks gal, u did something that few could do to heal my shattered heart.

I did cry a few days back but it wasnt so bad anymore, tears would be the correct word.

I still think of her often but hey 6 yrs of relationship is not easy to let go, i'm not her.

I behave very very differently from people i know regarding letting go. I cant do that in a few days or weeks.

I state i am not posting my injuries to get her pity or for her to come back.

I am the type of guy who dares to admit their mistakes and am not worried abt the world laughing at me or scolding me. That is me, to be exact the stubborn me.

Ms E u have my support in the decision u made. It's painful and hurting but it is better to endure that than to go through what i have gone through. Remember what u promised me k. It is more difficult to go through it alone. U have me and ur friends and family behind u, and that is a lot of support.

I dont dare to change back to who i was before. I'm afraid of myself from back than. I am finding a way to save myself yet protect myself from harm. I dont want to become like u Ms J. It is painful to see u suffering like that, i wished i could help open ur heart and see the smile on ur face from our poly yrs.

Ms E i dont wish u go through what i did as it is terrible. U have heard ur future but are u willing to risk ur future happiness on it. I can tell you this today, yes i will still do it. But as time flows i dont know what my answer will be. The hurt and pain and fear will be there to haunt me as long as i live. U asked me why we have to suffer this way and this is my answer to u gal

Maybe someone up there thinks that we deserved someone better but why are we settling for someone beneath us.

Remember gal find someone who loves u more than u love him..... to be love is bless, to love is suffering.

Years down the road i dont know where i will be or what i will be doing but i know i will be better than now. I have gone through what no guy can go through before, getting hurt like no one has gone through before.......... I have hit rock bottom so there is only 1 way to go and that is to go up.

I dont know what life has install for me in the future i only know i have followed her way for too long and now it is time to find my own way of life.

I left eric and have always regreted it but u want me to do it. This time i will follow my heart and do what i want. This is the path i have chosen, at least i can live with a clear conscience and tell god that i do not regret it.

I will always regret certain things in life. Those are decisions i made and i will have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

I do feel dirty and degraded and demoralised and u are the cause that is the fact.
I wont tell u i hope u are happy etc etc cause i know u well enough to know the ending......
There are times i pity u and there are times i am disappointed with u but that is not ur problem anymore, we are only strangers now.