What a long day..... very tired...... drive around the whole day under the humid and hot sun..........super dehydrated and sweaty.... Stupid fellow call me and wanted to screw me up..... hello wake up....... u are not doing ur job and expect me to do it for u..... do u want to give me ur pay then?

i can foresee very soon i will explode on u cos u are very very near my limits, either u wake up ur idea or i quit....... but before that i will give u 1 bomb of a wake up scolding. U are messing with the wrong person. I dont give a F who or what position u are in...... Whoever takes over my job will be guaranteed a trashing from my guys...... And that is provided that they are still around if i quit.

Have been drinking too much lately..... really think i have become addicted to alcohol now...... Time to detox or cut down.......

Drank about 5 bottles last night and ended up very high..... the end results was i broke down and cried again in my room.... tears were like rivers....... silly silly me... guess all the pent up emotions were released.... in the end i am only human. All the missing and thinking of her drove me over the edge.........

I know if she wanted to find faults with me she will be using all the things i have posted......i dont really care. Even till now i have held back certain information that will cause her problems at work and etc.

I also know she wont read my blog unless something happened to her and her bf........knowing her too well is bad for me......

Slowly i am losing my character and more of my past character are resurfacing.... the i dont give a F attitude,    the who cares attitude and the me first thinking...... looking forward to my confidence and self believing to come back....... 

A day has passed. Time sure is moving on slowly or i should say i am not looking forward to anything and just dragging myself through life for now.