Thoughts

U are still doing what ur dad did to ur mum. Now that's karma. Sometimes I wonder who is she trying to cover when she does good deeds.....

Another shitty day, early morning looking for quarrels , now it's time I return the "favor". See how u like it.

Had enough of all these shit and nonsenses. Time to strike back.

Don't like it. 2 ways to make it different, 1. Fire me 2. Change ur shit

Going to be a long week ago. Body aching badly, haven't slept well for days due to air con breakdown , they need 2 weeks to replace a circuit board..... Stupid

Getting too tired and demoralized with everything.

Don't see any future currently in everything, not in relationships, job, everything.

Just feel like taking a long break and not thinking about anything. Can I lose my memories temporarily, forgetting who I am and letting go of things.

Think it's about time to rearrange my room and throwing things away. I find it to clustered and uncozy, there has been to many memories and sadness in there.

I think I am on the path to become cold hearted.

Don't know whether to look forward to sept high key ict. I am lost. Seems like depression and beer are the only things that are remaining with me daily

I have been thinking of my life recently and very often.

Thinking of what I want, what happened, how much pain I need to go through to be happy , how much I changed to suit her.

Yes I don't deny that she is still always on my mind. I still miss her , think of her and worry about her but I also remember how she toyed with my feelings, made me feel dirty, gave me so much pain and while I'm suffering now how she is having a good time.

Does she know I miss her, no she doesn't. Would she miss me , never.

Haven't been able to let go yet, my morale is low, my confidence is zero , I feel I don't deserve anyone. I feel zero.

Someone told me I am getting weird this 2 weeks. I am , maybe I'm still turning cold heart no matter how much I don't want to. Seen to much people getting hurt due to relationship recently.

I'm starting to lose my focus in life, a new job opportunity is opening up but I don't know what to do.

I only know my heart is gone, my soul is lost and my will is lingering

When u don't expect hope, u won't get disappointed.

My body needs a rest, it's cramping up badly.

My soul needs a rest from life and my mind needs to shut down.

As for my heart....... It needs to be recreated totally.

I am too disappointed with some people.

Feeling

After such a long time I still can't change my habits.

Still worrying about her, thinking of her, wanting to message her, wanting to know how she is, hoping she is not sick, wondering if she slept well

I am weak...... Some things are really hard to change. Regardless of what I want to remain I am still forced to change.

Be it better or worse I am forced to change. This blog is the only place where I can say what I want. There are too many family members on fb.

People told me I deserved better but the current me tells me I deserve none.

I still haven't been able to forgive myself. I still blame myself even through I know I am not to blame.

Haven't found a way to forget anything. Is turning cold hearted the only way to go.

I really don't want to turn that way.

What a long day. Qing Ming hopping to people whom left a deep impression in my life.

Many things are happening some in my control while others aren't.

Changing cars, neighbor getting another dog which is damn cute and petite.

Seeing people getting hurt emotionally etc.

Life goes on I can understand what they are going through and can only advice them for I myself is still in the process of healing.

Watching the show the shrewd wife, though me a lot of things. Different mindsets, feelings, behavior analysis. I highly recommend it to everyone especially her. She is like the gal who broke up the family in character.

The character xie an zhen really let me learnt s lot of stuff

The first phrase was u are very brave for leaving a safe and protected life to seek love

The second was the battle was never between him and me but the old her and new her

Note to self try not to drink with people who are are poor drinkers

Drinking is bad..... Party time again...... Lol

I wonder if my birthday this year will be sad , moody and disappointing like the past few years.......

So what's new.....

Headache day........ But fun. Lots of worries resulting in panadols but hey it was fun. Managed to clear a lot of problems except 1.

Air con belt snapped again..... Super manual steering,I wonder if the van can start tmr. Who knows........ Lol

Let's see how, it's like life ups and down and things not going my way.

Sadness and diasappointment seems normal, worries and headaches are normal.

1 thing is constant, me having 2 plates of rice every meal but my stomach is telling me I have

Reach my limit again.....

It was a good day yesterday considering things that happen......

Got a badly bruised toe due to my clumsy.... But at least no one irritated me and I slacked the whole day. Managed to rearrange the factory and clear up space. Too bad I can feel my back giving way even when I an sitting down. Age is catching up with my body.

Recently I feel like I am going through puberty again, 2 plates of rice for every meal even my head carpenter is puzzled. He said something that hit a soft spot yesterday.

When u had a wife u didn't eat this much and always waited for her to eat together, starving urself for her but now u are eating like a teenager.

I know he didn't mean anything bad but it still sting.

Another day another experience with life. Think I have already reach another stage of healing. The part where feelings are touchy and sensitive.

Stupid laptop having problems with blogspot......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgMBpYvk7Os&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxu21fYnKMw

Feelings

Why am I not feeling happy

Wisdom

He or she who lives in the past will not survive in the future

He or she who forgets the past will not have a future

We must always remember the past, live in the present and move towards the future

Xie an zhen damn poor thing..... Got wife like her will be a blessing. She is so sweet, loving and caring..... Feels like me lol.

This is a really good show..... It lets me see what is happening to me and how everyone is worrying for me. It also shows how it might have happened.....

Definitely a great show...... Touching and nice.

Some of the expression phrases used are great too.

feeling damn tired after such a long day but at least my feelings are better due to drinkingand getting high and releasing what I held inside my heart last night.

I changed my life and lifestyle to suit you. Not you change yours to suit mine. Remember that.

Dear dear I have never stopped loving you. I love you has always been the the hardest thing to say to me as you know cos I'm afraid of getting hurt. But I still love you as deeply as before. I wish you all the best and happiness forever.if there is any sadness I will absorb your share and hope u only have happiness.

Thanks for hurting me so deeply and throughly with ur lies.

U have always suspected me when I should have been the one suspecting you. Thanks for killing me.

I still love you my wife

I still miss you and worry about you that much. That's the truth. I still love you that deeply althought I can't help it. Hope nothing happened to you yesterday. My right eye lid was jumping like crazy

Phrase

The ones who aren't able to acknowledge their own selves are bound to fail

Oh no..... Right eye lid jumping like crazy...... Hopefully nothing bad happens.

Sore & aching back and legs....... No wonder i havent been sleeping well at night......

I shall do it again...... in a sick way it feels great.

Great Day I think

Had a great day i think.... got a few cuts on palm and thumbs. But at least no one interrupt me and i can finally concentrate on doing my table.... customed height with carbon fibre laminates..... YES.

Now i have a proper table to work on at home and place my stuffs.

By the way.... i dont think she will read my blog so AK or AC.... have fun. She wont see it anyway.

If i was afraid of shame i wouldnt have blogged abt it.
Try harder if you are trying to hurt me.

Shrew wife is nice....... too bad this type of wife doesnt existed in Singapore.
It must be a blessing from heaven to have this type of wife, so loving and caring and pretty.

Work load is increasing again but it's normal. Time to endure added stress and details to remember. Hope my guys can take it.....lol...... My Cute Uncles......

Random thoughts

Really too long never run. 3 fast laps and I'm tired. Some more I run alone.....

Really time to up my fitness again but I also know the negative effect it will have on my back...... Lol what a twin edge sword.

She is the only person who has ever hurt and injured that deeply not once not twice not thrice but multiple times. I am only her entertainment.

I have made up my mind above the career change. I don't want to end up like her or change into someone I hate.

I really have matured more. I thank my parents for always standing by my decisions in life be it silly or immature. Ur son has really matured more, sorry to worry u two.

My career is the thing I want to build now. My money is building along with my career.

end of the day she still doesn't understand herself that is where she will fail in life. Ke Lian

.......

What a mentally tired day.

I hate doing paperwork early in the Monday morning.......

Luckily the rest of the day was ok.

Amazing past 2 days.... Got hit by enlightenment again and again. Now I understand more abt what happened and how it happened.

But not all things are that lucky.....

Managed to hammer my own finger twice in the same day.....

Had a fun night yesterday, steamboat and wine at neighbour's.... but had a super bad hangover today.lol

Hope that COE comes down.... so high now.... Dont think i will get celica or intrega, find them noisy. most likely going for comfort and silent but if coe dont come down than will be taxi daily.

Heaven is really not bad to me. Even through i return her the car i still have transport.....lol.....
Time to re-shuffle my lifestyle...i am really being too uncle for my own good.

Need to go out and play more.... 6 yrs of life style need to change.....

犀利人妻 is a great show..... really shows me a lot.......

Songs from the show starting and ending themes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruEoA5mLR-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65GFisLmHGE&feature=fvst

A day at a time, slowly but surely.

It still hurts but it is already beyond my control.

Life goes on, I will remember what I learnt and experienced forever

Thanks

Thoughts

There are still a lot of things I don't understand in life.

How do u grade a person, good, bad, innocent, guilty.

Why do so many people don't have a clear conscience and can still live with it.

What makes a good bf or gf or husband or wife.

Life is really a mystery.

Why do the nice and good people always get hurt badly........

Thinkings and feelings

Finally managed to delete our pics and more.

Pushing myself to move on.

Even stopped myself from messaging much. Am I turning heartless??

Maybe, let time give me an answer.

The last line has been drawn and followed.

Thanks Eliza for checking if I'm alright. If u didn't helped me I believe I would have gone to a psychologist already. Thanks gal

Jia you Ms J it will be a tough 2 weeks for u.

Jia you Ms E hope u step out of what u are going through.

Thanks cousin for guiding me out of the roughest patch