97th Post 14 Oct 09

Thanks for the chat HJ. It was really useful. Happy that things are working out well for you.... jia you in your studies and i'm looking forward to your future home and kid.

Eric 2 more only you must also jia you......

Next........ Got 2 angels in my cbox. Dont worry i know who is the really one angel.
Just to update you since your asked.
He was charged with 5 counts yesterday and he tried to settle it out of court.

Officially today he has become a wanted man.Check Straits times i think should be online too.
I dont know whether should i pity him or pity the ladies or laugh at him....... mixed reactions and feelings included.Hmm......... how .........

To the person with many nicks....jia you. Keep it up. You are getting more entertaining.

My ops manning is here...... standby time.... shooting is confirmed. Ya..... Shoulderaches and bruising included. But hey it's fun.

Business is going to be under changes soon..... Should of looking forward to it but the process is a killer....... long and tiring days ahead but i think it's good cos it will also take my mind of things for a while.

I had a crazy night 2 days back..... I still dont believe that i had 2 plates of rice and after that i had 3 bowl of home made bo bo cha cha and than snacks......hmm....... hungry ghost festival is over....i wonder why.

I'm getting tired..... tired of this relationship which i feel is getting empty.
I ask if she treated me as a husband and she answer Yes. But the feelings and reactions proved otherwise. Her posting hurted me the most..... I can only say i find it crap. What a lousy logic......

I also feel that our roles have changed. I used to be the one working daily but now..... I go to work on the weekends cos she is working. HAHA....... funny right. Work work work work work....why....cos she has debts and bills.

Bills i can understand.....debts....lol..... i dont need to say why. I wont be surprised that end of the day she goes back to her old ways. There is always a possibility.

Her choice of believing who and trust who is weird. She didnt even inform me that her brother's ROM was a few days back. She doesnt show that I am her husband. She used to check my hp in secret but i knew. I had nothing to hide but not her. I dont really care if she feels sad after reading this post, honestly and frankly I am getting numb and dishearted. The event on friday tells me I'm correct in my thinking.

I went against all the advices and may end up i was wrong in not following them but i will only say I DESERVED IT if it happens. But i will not regret it and will do it again if i repeat my life again. I always believe in giving people a second chance. I have given her 3, it is up to her now to pick her road. If she is still so immature in thinking so be it. I'm tired.

Too much said, too much done, too much negative feelings gathering. She never showed that i'm her husband since the quarrel. Honestly i dont really care much anymore. I am starting to protect myself by shutting my heart slowly. When it's closed......lol......Just give me the paper.

I dont think I am totally wrong when I say she doesnt know how to think, why, cos a lot of people agree with me. Sad but true.......

Thanks Jensen for talking with me. I appreciate it a lot.

I still feel sad about talking very loudly to my mum 2 days back. I know she is still upset about it when i apologised.

Sorry Mother

I know she is keeping things from me again. Dont need to tell I can feel. I'm very sensitive to body language and words and actions.

I post for all to see and comment and to judge for themselves. Be it at the end of the day what happens, I stand firm with my decisions and judgements and conscience.

I believe in having a clear conscience and I stand by it.

I have been contempting to remove my ring from my finger recently. I dont know the exact reason but all i can say is that it's a feeling inside. It could also be due to my heart closing and i'm starting to protect myself. Safe Mode On....haha.

Somehow I feel sad and empty. I dont really bother much about what is happening to her recently anymore. The more i read her blog the more i feel upset and disappointed and disheartening.

She told me why she made her blog into invite only. I'm sure a lot of people are interested to know why.
The reason is to stop certain people from posting in her cbox. Other reasons...... i can think of at least 1 be it good or bad. But i can also think of a few reasons why i wasnt invite earlier...... ha sad or happy I really dont know.

I'm also contempting to ignore her topic on msn, too painful to read.
I'm also contempting to change my blog to invite only. The bad thing is I must invite and the cbox will get boring.

The good is she cant read and i wont be causing her more hurt.....hmm..... how any suggestions??

Lost and confused........sad and disheartened.........tired and numb........

Should a guy try and build a career when he is young or should he do it when he has more burdens. Angel can share your view on this ???

That's all for now. See when i will feel like blogging again....... Busy days ahead. It's rare that I will feel i dont want to go to the internet......but recently that has been the case. ha ha ha.............

You are the one whom i love the most and you will be the one whom hurts me the most.

That's Life ............. live while you learn and learn while you live